What is Nuage?

My previous version of erratik.ca was basically a big fat cloud of information. And to a degree, this still is, but with a lot more to it. Almost everything on this site is created through third-party services and fetched from herein.
More about erratik.ca

Who is Tayana?

a kickass web developer with a kickass plush toy.
More about Tayana Jacques

Design and Dev Updates

I don't do much design anymore because well, I'm not very good at it. But I still participate in communities like Dribbble, Forrst and LoveDsgn.

Recently Played Shots

Last Forrst Update

forrst/erratik follow

The Redux

I don't blog enough. I just don't. I used to, when I had a website that worked and it was fun to post stuff and have comments and whatnot. But yeah, that hasn't been the case in years. Not until now!

April 24, 2015

I will not chastise myself. I will not chastise myself. I will not chastise myself. Is this an acceptable mantra? I think so. But along the way, I forgot that courtesy I did to myself should extend to others, as well. As forgiving as I have become with myself, I'm realizing I took that away from the people surrounding me. As if there was some kind of limit to the well of forgiveness and acceptance that I could take from. I forgot that I had to give that back. That is was only borrowed, to be mutiplied and added to the well. 

April 15, 2015

we try to feel all of it, all at the same time. we want it to be here, at this moment. and when it is, we wonder when the next thing is coming our way.

where is it? why isn't it here? why is it taking so long? i feel like i've been waiting forever... where the fuck is this thing?

really, it's not that we're always waiting for it, it's that we're always searching for it. when it gets to its destination - to us, we already forgot we had been looking for it and we look for it somewhere else.

March 15, 2015
a liquid will usually find a way to fill up the space it's poured into. depending on its viscosity, it will fill up the space faster, maybe not taking care to imbue each tiny little measure of that space with itself.  if the space has irregularities in its enclosing surface -the one the liquid seeks to fill, i'd guess it would not fill every single nook and cranny.
February 19, 2015

I've been asking myself this question a lot as of late: is it wrong to dislike someone? What if you've been trying to understand the reason but haven't come up with any concrete ones. I have read about the Shadow Self.

I know these are most likely characteristics I dislike in myself that I seem not be able to see past this person's. But when is it okay to say, "well, looks like this friendship I want is never gonna happen, I'm just gonna let it go."

October 22, 2014

I'm writing for my dad today, because i've realized how closely linked our moods are, even if we haven't lived in the same country in over a decade. My dad and I have always been kindred spirits. Because we feel so deeply for people we love. To no end, really. And both of us have this disillusion that we do everything we can, in our way, to show that love, without realizing how destructive we can be at it sometimes. 

August 05, 2014

Well, the love affair started a few years ago. First, I was crying because I lived in Calgary. Then I was crying because when I made it, I was to be broke from travelling. Then I was crying because if I was gonna make it without being too broke... by the time the festival was over, I'd be broke from how expensive not only the tickets keep getting every year but how ridiculously over-priced (terrible-tasting) libations have become.

July 28, 2014

I should probably take the time and explain where I stand on this issue. You'll probably find a tweet or two of me saying I'm not a feminist and wanna spit at me because you think I'm anti-feminist. The thing is, I don't think feminism is what most people think feminism is. I think the last couple decades have brought on a new movement, that is not feminism

July 16, 2014

Summer has been pretty damn great to me, from work, to friends, to beautiful weather and good times. There have most definitely been some downs, but so many more ups. I'm increasingly grateful for the beautiful group of people I now call my extended family. They just bring so much sunshine into my life, it's something worth being thankful for, every single day.

May 30, 2014

there are so many things that i don't understand. there's a whirlwind in me that i cannot explain. many rooms to explore but the doors look the same. - daft punk, within

May 22, 2014

I know I said I'd be updating the site soon, but it's summer now, and I have have no will to sit at home do anything. Also, my laptop is slowly dying, so I have even less will to do anything about this. So here's a new post instead of an update.

March 03, 2014

So I did my Confoo presentation and it went super well!@#

But now all I want to do is get back to personal work coding, so I'm working on some kind of new design for this site and thinking up some CSS planning, etc. I'll just leave it at that. I don't really wanna blog until I have something to blog about, so until then, enjoy the half broken website.

- hearts, Tay!

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Hebdomadaire

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At a quick glance, you can see how much I use my various social services. The percentages represent how much I have used each type of service over the last 7 days from the time you are loading this page. I haven't added my blog to the "life" box yet, so bear with me because these precentages aren't excatly accurate yet without them. All my feeds can be seen here.

The Breakdown

Music

Inanity

Geotag

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Life

Last.fm
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1 day 45 min ago

Interpol – Length of Love

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1 day 48 min ago

Interpol – C'mere

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1 day 59 min ago

Interpol – Not Even Jail

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1 day 2 hours ago

Interpol – Obstacle 1

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1 day 2 hours ago

Interpol – Untitled

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1 day 3 hours ago

Interpol – No I in Threesome

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4 days 23 hours ago

Erykah Badu – Love Of My Life (An Ode To Hip Hop) - feat. Common

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5 days 2 min ago

Little Dragon – Cat Rider

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5 days 3 hours ago

Massive Attack – Paradise Circus

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5 days 3 hours ago

Martina Topley-Bird – Iiya

Last seen at

foursquare
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@ Dieu du Ciel! - Not bad, not bad... #datenight

18 hours 27 min ago
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@ Ubisoft St-Antoine - Thank God for showers at work!

19 hours 5 min ago
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@ Château Saint-Ambroise

21 hours 11 min ago
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@ Les Moulins Lafayette Vieux-Montréal

1 day 1 hour ago
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@ Tim Hortons

1 day 5 hours ago
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@ Ubisoft St-Antoine

1 day 5 hours ago
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@ town of cats - ...

2 days 18 hours ago
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@ La Boite à Karaoke - GO HABS!!! Lotsa game left!

3 days 20 hours ago
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@ Château Saint-Ambroise - GYMTIME!

3 days 22 hours ago
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@ Les Moulins Lafayette Vieux-Montréal - Light lunch because gym later! :)

4 days 2 hours ago

Youtube Favs

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1 day 10 min ago
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5 days 3 hours ago
activitystream_blog

I will not chastise myself. I will not chastise myself. I will not chastise myself. Is this an acceptable mantra? I think so. But along the way, I forgot that courtesy I did to myself should extend to others, as well. As forgiving as I have become with myself, I'm realizing I took that away from the people surrounding me. As if there was some kind of limit to the well of forgiveness and acceptance that I could take from. I forgot that I had to give that back. That is was only borrowed, to be mutiplied and added to the well. 

So what should I not chastise myself about? Well, for one, the fact that I have not done very well at keeping those silly things we call resolutions. And even though New Year's resolutions are fucking retarded because they're made in haste and never uphld very long, resolutions, themselves, are pretty important. We make them every day, as passing thoughts or as concrete actions. 
I'm keeping my home clean. That's the only thing I have kept up. And even then, I failed quite  abit before I could sit here and say I'm succeeding at it. The onyl reason I have kept it pretty neat is because I get my best frined living with me for a month. It's much easier to pretend you're a neat person when someone else is there to remind you that you aren't. Not by actually reminding me, by her presence, I'm reminded this isn't only MY space and I shoudlr espect that, and I do, to the best of my ability. But now that's coming to an end by the end of th emonth, let's hope I can keep that habit up. 
I wanted to be more mindful. That extends to my waste, my consumption of all things that affect my environment, be it things, food, drugs... anything. Okay, granted, that was a pretty big one. But really, I wanted to start thinking of how I could reduce my waste, by not asking for a plastic bag as often, by composting. Reduce the amount of water I use by not leaving the water running while I do the dishes, not runnning the shower for 5 whole minutes before I step into it, not flushing every time I spit in the toilet bowl, not letting the water run while I put dishes away because there is no space for my next bacth of dishses to fit into the drying bin... N
ot leaving the door to the fridge open while I cook because what a fucking waste of energy, trying to turn things off in my home before leavcing because, really, does my WDTV really need to be on all the time when I use it once a month?? So I've pretty much Failed at this all. But I'm aware I am failing at it. Is that not step one?

I wanted to be a better friend. I have become a worse friend, I think. Because I want to save money, I've actiely stayed away from doing any acitivities with my friends. I think I'm also in a place with myself where I need to constantly be distracted form what makes me sad, so if I have to intereact with anyone but myself (yes, talking to myself is interaction), I need to br drinking, smoking or doing something that will momentarily let me feel that delightful and fleeting numbness. But numbness isn't a better friend. That's just me trying to deal with myself. And dealing with myself has led me to do some pretty despicable things, like project my anger onto situations that do not concern me in the least, or onto people who I've had unresolved problems with. This led me to get wasted and point fingers, become a self-righteous asshole because I couldn't look at my own situation and face the shittiness of it. I read that self-defeat is part of the betterment of the self, thanks to a new friend. But I am self-defeatist. I just haven't learned from it yet. Which I guess is why I'm trying on this new mantra, of not chastising myself, but seeing what I've done wrong, who needs to be apologized to, myself included; and, from that be able to learn and make better things happen. 

Because after all, I can't ask forgiveness forever. At some point, I have to stop shooting myself in the foot and in the process, turning my friends into people I'm scared of facing.

4 days 47 min ago

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